Breaking News
October 20, 2018 - Breast Cancer as a Dynamic Disease
October 20, 2018 - University of Pittsburgh wins NSF grant for big data research to prevent complications from anesthesia
October 20, 2018 - Skin-to-skin contact may promote attachment between parents and preterm infants
October 20, 2018 - Recommendations Developed to Verify NGT Placement in Children
October 20, 2018 - Weight loss can be boosted fivefold thanks to novel mental imagery technique
October 20, 2018 - Children with autism are more likely to be overweight, obese
October 20, 2018 - Nurses making conscientious objections to ethically-relevant policies lack support
October 20, 2018 - Prion strain diversity may be greater than previously thought
October 20, 2018 - Antidepressant treatment may lead to improvements in sleep quality of patients with depression
October 20, 2018 - Study reports increased risk of death in children with inflammatory bowel disease
October 20, 2018 - Number of Autism Genes Now Tops 100
October 20, 2018 - Total diet replacement programmes are effective for treating obesity
October 20, 2018 - CLARIOstar used for fluorescence measurements on CSIRO’s purpose-built research vessel
October 20, 2018 - People with more copies of AMY1 gene digest starchy carbohydrates faster
October 20, 2018 - Case Comprehensive Cancer Center wins NIH grant to study health disparities
October 20, 2018 - Newly discovered compound shows potential for treating Parkinson’s disease
October 20, 2018 - High rate of non-adherence to hormonal therapy found among premenopausal early breast cancer patients
October 20, 2018 - Immunotherapy medicine found to be effective in treating uveitis
October 20, 2018 - The Pistoia Alliance Calls for Greater Collaboration to Realise Benefits of Innovation and Announces Winners of the 2018 President’s Startup Challenge
October 20, 2018 - Female internists consistently earn less than men
October 20, 2018 - Stanford team looks at dangers of teens’ vaping habits
October 20, 2018 - New approach to understanding cancers will accelerate development of better treatments
October 20, 2018 - LJI and UC San Diego awarded $ 4.5 million as part of NCI’s Cancer Moonshot initiative
October 20, 2018 - School-based HPV vaccination did not increase risky sexual behaviors among adolescent girls
October 20, 2018 - Eye discovery to pave way for more successful corneal transplants
October 20, 2018 - New analysis examines the importance of location in the opioid crisis
October 20, 2018 - Green filters increase reading speed for children with dyslexia
October 19, 2018 - Bariatric Sx Cuts Macrovascular Complications in Obesity, T2DM
October 19, 2018 - Better assessments for early age-related macular degeneration
October 19, 2018 - Visible and valued: Stanford Medicine’s first-ever LGBTQ+ Forum | News Center
October 19, 2018 - Understanding of metal-free enzymes used by bacteria could lead to new effective antibiotics
October 19, 2018 - Beckman Coulter Life Sciences announces new research-focused website
October 19, 2018 - Study finds link between refined soluble fibers, gut microbiota and liver cancer
October 19, 2018 - Social media reduces risk of depression among seniors with pain
October 19, 2018 - Newly developed synthetic DNA molecule may one day be used as ‘vaccine’ for prostate cancer
October 19, 2018 - Preoperative weight loss may not provide health benefits after surgery
October 19, 2018 - U.S. Birth Rates Continue to Drop as Age of New Moms Rises
October 19, 2018 - New technology can keep an eye on babies’ movements in the womb
October 19, 2018 - Juul e-cigarettes pose addiction risk for young users | News Center
October 19, 2018 - Gene sequencing reveals crucial molecular aspects of Trypanosoma brucei
October 19, 2018 - New DNA vaccine strategy protects mice against lethal challenge by multiple H3N2 viruses
October 19, 2018 - Study shows close link between cytokine interleukin-1ß and obesity-promoted colon cancer
October 19, 2018 - Muscle mass plays a critical role in health, shows research
October 19, 2018 - Study finds undiagnosed prediabetes in many infertile men
October 19, 2018 - The Current issue of “The view from here” is concerned with Nanotherapeutic strategies
October 19, 2018 - Delay in replacing the Pap smear with HPV screening is costing lives
October 19, 2018 - Physicians battle pediatric diseases of ear, nose, throat in Zimbabwe | News Center
October 19, 2018 - Researchers investigate why some cancers affect only young women
October 19, 2018 - Drugmakers funnel millions to lawmakers; a few dozen get $100,000-plus
October 19, 2018 - Unselfish people tend to have more children and receive higher salaries
October 19, 2018 - New findings reveal potential cellular players in tumor microenvironment
October 19, 2018 - Study reveals impact of Juul use on teenagers and young adults
October 19, 2018 - Green leafy vegetables could help reduce macular degeneration risk
October 19, 2018 - Some countries take more time for reimbursement decisions on new cancer drugs
October 19, 2018 - Human brain cell transplant offers insights into neurological conditions
October 19, 2018 - Parental education associated with increased family health care spending
October 19, 2018 - New statistical method estimates long- and short-term risk of recurrence of breast cancer in US women
October 19, 2018 - Father’s exposure to nicotine may cause cognitive deficits in descendants
October 19, 2018 - Could we prevent Alzheimer’s disease by treating herpes?
October 19, 2018 - Nurse-led care can be more successful in managing gout
October 19, 2018 - Trump administration, pharma exchange verbal volleys on drug-price transparency
October 19, 2018 - Duke researchers find way to detect blood doping in athletes
October 19, 2018 - Many primary care doctors are still prescribing sedative drugs for older adults
October 19, 2018 - Finger length can predict sexuality in women say researchers
October 19, 2018 - Study finds differences in side-effects experienced by male and female OG cancer patients
October 19, 2018 - Dysfunction of single gene leads to miscarriages
October 19, 2018 - Few Seniors Who Self-Harm Referred for Mental Health Care
October 19, 2018 - Don’t sweat the sweet stuff
October 19, 2018 - URMC researchers discover new approach to deliver therapeutics to the brain
October 19, 2018 - Speech Pathology Australia raises awareness about Developmental Language Disorder
October 19, 2018 - Middlemen suppliers can increase drug prices and hospital bills, say Johns Hopkins researchers
October 19, 2018 - Survey finds high prevalence of HTLV-1 infection among teens and adults in Gabon
October 19, 2018 - Bliss funds research to find whether parental touch can help alleviate pain in premature infants
October 19, 2018 - Human neurons employ highly compartmentalized signaling, study shows
October 19, 2018 - Ultromics expands multiple clinical trials for coronary heart disease to the U.S.
October 19, 2018 - $11 million NIH grant for Clemson University helps launch new center for musculoskeletal research
October 19, 2018 - A new approach identified to control Zika virus, dengue fever
October 19, 2018 - Head Blows Without Concussion May Not Damage Brain, Study Claims
October 19, 2018 - US opioid use not declined, despite focus on abuse and awareness of risk
October 19, 2018 - Next-generation RNA sequencing technology sheds new light on human mitochondrial diseases
Positive Parenting | NIH News in Health

Positive Parenting | NIH News in Health

image_pdfDownload PDFimage_print

Special Issue: Parenting

Print this issue

Building Healthy Relationships With Your Kids

Parents have an important job. Raising kids is both rewarding and challenging. You’re likely to get a lot of advice along the way, from doctors, family, friends, and even strangers. But every parent and child is unique. Being sensitive and responsive to your kids can help you build positive, healthy relationships together.

“Being a sensitive parent and responding to your kids cuts across all areas of parenting,” says Arizona State University’s Dr. Keith Crnic, a parent-child relationship expert. “What it means is recognizing what your child needs in the moment and providing that in an effective way.”

This can be especially critical for infants and toddlers, he adds. Strong emotional bonds often develop through sensitive, responsive, and consistent parenting in the first years of life. For instance, holding your baby lovingly and responding to their cries helps build strong bonds.

Building Bonds

Strong emotional bonds help children learn how to manage their own feelings and behaviors and develop self-confidence. They help create a safe base from which they can explore, learn, and relate to others.

Experts call this type of strong connection between children and their caregivers “secure attachment.” Securely attached children are more likely to be able to cope with challenges like poverty, family instability, parental stress, and depression.

A recent analysis shows that about 6 out of 10 children in the U.S. develop secure attachments to their parents. The 4 out of 10 kids who lack such bonds may avoid their parents when they are upset or resist their parents if they cause them more distress. Studies suggest that this can make kids more prone to serious behavior problems. Researchers have been testing programs to help parents develop behaviors that encourage secure attachment.

Being Available

Modern life is full of things that can influence your ability to be sensitive and responsive to your child. These include competing priorities, extra work, lack of sleep, and things like mobile devices. Some experts are concerned about the effects that distracted parenting may have on emotional bonding and children’s language development, social interaction, and safety.

If parents are inconsistently available, kids can get distressed and feel hurt, rejected, or ignored. They may have more emotional outbursts and feel alone. They may even stop trying to compete for their parents’ attention and start to lose emotional connections to their parents.

“There are times when kids really do need your attention and want your recognition,” Crnic explains. Parents need to communicate that their kids are valuable and important, and children need to know that parents care what they’re doing, he says.

It can be tough to respond with sensitivity during tantrums, arguments, or other challenging times with your kids. “If parents respond by being irritable or aggressive themselves, children can mimic that behavior, and a negative cycle then continues to escalate,” explains Dr. Carol Metzler, who studies parenting at the Oregon Research Institute.

According to Crnic, kids start to regulate their own emotions and behavior around age 3. Up until then, they depend more on you to help them regulate their emotions, whether to calm them or help get them excited.

“They’re watching you to see how you do it and listening to how you talk to them about it,” he explains. “Parents need to be good self-regulators. You’re not only trying to regulate your own emotions in the moment, but helping your child learn to manage their emotions and behavior.”

As kids become better at managing their feelings and behavior, it’s important to help them develop coping skills, like active problem solving. Such skills can help them feel confident in handling what comes their way.

“When parents engage positively with their children, teaching them the behaviors and skills that they need to cope with the world, children learn to follow rules and regulate their own feelings,” Metzler says.

“As parents, we try really hard to protect our kids from the experience of bad things,” Crnic explains. “But if you protect them all the time and they are not in situations where they deal with difficult or adverse circumstances, they aren’t able to develop healthy coping skills.”

He encourages you to allow your kids to have more of those experiences and then help them learn how to solve the problems that emerge. Talk through the situation and their feelings. Then work with them to find solutions to put into practice.

Meeting Needs

As children grow up, it’s important to remember that giving them what they need doesn’t mean giving them everything they want. “These two things are very different,” Crnic explains. “Really hone in on exactly what’s going on with your kid in the moment. This is an incredibly important parenting skill and it’s linked to so many great outcomes for kids.”

Think about where a child is in life and what skills they need to learn at that time. Perhaps they need help managing emotions, learning how to behave in a certain situation, thinking through a new task, or relating to friends.

“You want to help kids become confident,” Crnic says. “You don’t want to aim too high where they can’t get there or too low where they have already mastered the skill.” Another way to boost confidence while strengthening your relationship is to let your kid take the lead.

“Make some time to spend with your child that isn’t highly directive, where your child leads the play,” advises Dr. John Bates, who studies children’s behavior problems at Indiana University Bloomington. “Kids come to expect it and they love it, and it really improves the relationship.”

Bates also encourages parents to focus on their child’s actual needs instead of sticking to any specific parenting principles. It’s never too late to start building a healthier, more positive relationship with your child, even if things have gotten strained and stressful.

“Most importantly, make sure that your child knows that you love them and are on their side,” Metzler says. “For older children, let them know that you are genuinely committed to building a stronger relationship with them and helping them be successful.”

By being a sensitive and responsive parent, you can help set your kids on a positive path, teach them self-control, reduce the likelihood of troublesome behaviors, and build a warm, caring parent-child relationship.

Tagged with:

About author

Related Articles